Amazing Affirmations: People and Trees

The other night I was in my counseling class and we were talking about self-reflection.  It was an intriguing discussion about how to be a reflective practitioner.  In the counseling field, it is such an important concept to grasp and understand, especially dealing with people one on one.  Advice is something we are NOT supposed to give as counselors, but as the discussion got deeper, my professor showed us a "Madea" clip on Youtube.  It was a clip of her giving advice to a young man about relationships.  Although the clip was used as an instructional resource of what counselors are not to do with our clients, it actually struck something inside of me that I truly needed to hear and take heed.

Watch the clip for yourself.

I'm not much of a Tyler Perry fan, but maaaaan this clip spoke directly to my spirit.  People and trees.  So simple, yet so profound.  There is a reason why there are so many leaves, so few branches, and even fewer roots.   This was by far the best analogy to describe a good and bad relationship, in my opinion.  It was comedic, but it was definitely comedic truth.

Think about the relationships you have in your life right now.  Who do you think of when you place people in these three categories? Who do you consider your roots? Branches?  Leaves?  Thinking back on a certain relationship I had, it is clear this person is a leaf.  He is not meant to stay in my life and I had to accept that once and for all.  I've never known a person who was so emotionally disconnected, full of excuses, uncommunicative, and overall just weird.  Dude is just a strange cat. I don't understand him and it's not meant for me understand him.  Good luck to the person who will understand him.  I get it now.  I totally see it for what it is.  A waste of my valuable time.

I gave myself a hard time for going back to it after the fact.  There is no use in beating myself up when I all I have to do is walk away and never look back.  Going backwards is the wrong answer.  Leave your past in the past and move forward.  They are in your past for a reason.  Let them stay there.  Letting go is hard to do, but Madea said it best.  When it gets to a point when I have to choose You or Me?  I have to choose me, because simply put, I love me more.

I deserve so much more. I'm a beautiful woman who deserves to be pursued.  Yea, Imma a little old school.  I believe in chivalry and the "he who finds a wife" ideology.  I have so much love to give and I'm patiently waiting for the right "him" to come and scoop me up and share the love with me.  There is a deserving someone out there looking for me.  I'm just waiting on the day when we finally find each other.  Love.  I remember it. *smiles*

Thank you, Madea for the insight.  I needed this reminder to slap me in the face and wake me the hell up! 

Amazing Affirmations: Today, I STOP...

Today started out as another ordinary day.  I woke up, did my morning rituals, got dressed and headed to work.  It was another ordinary work day, nothing special.  I normally go straight to the gym after work, but something made me go straight home.  I put my things down, checked the mail, and changed clothes.  Still ordinary.  I got on my computer, did a little reading, and after a few minutes, I turned it off.  Next thing I knew, tears started streaming down my face.  I just broke down and started bawling out of nowhere.  As I'm crying, all I could do is start calling on God.  In the midst of my sobbing I said, "Lord, we need to talk."

It had been a while since I had a good cry and an intimate conversation with God.  I knew my heart was heavy, but I didn't realize the capacity of heaviness I was experiencing.  I cried, because I felt an incredible sense of loneliness and solitude.  I felt so alone.  It was just me, my empty house, and my thoughts running wild.  Once I opened my mouth and started talking to Him, it was then I knew God had been here all along; I had not taken the time to vent to Him in so long.  I won't go into much detail about our vent session, but in conversing with my Comforter, He revealed some tough revelations about me. Among those revelations, He revealed to me the role I play in my personal relationships and why I feel like I'm on the losing end.

I am a compromiser.  Compromising is not the problem, the problem is I'm not much of negotiator.  I'm a master compromiser, especially when it comes to relationships.  It can be a strength and weakness, but I consider it weakness of mine.  I am the person who will inconvenience herself as to not inconvenience someone else.  I am the person who compromises what makes her happy to appease or conform to someone else's happiness.  I am the person who gives up some control just to "make it work."  If I don't like something, I try to adapt to it despite my feelings about it.  I guess the best way to sum it up is, I tend to settle for less than what I deserve.  This concept hit me like a ton of bricks when I openly admitted this aloud.  It's hard to admit our own weaknesses openly to ourselves, but it marks the beginning of change.  I can think years back on all the relationships I've had.  Be it personal, social, or business and I have had the same compromising pattern in most of them, if not all and it is unhealthy.  I only have myself to blame.  People only do what you allow them to do.

After the tears stopped and I calmed down enough to listen to God, I decided that this unfulfilling pattern must stop and it ends TODAY. 

• I will no longer compromise my needs to appease someone else's feelings or wants.  
• I will no longer accept "how the things are" when I am the one who is mostly lacking.  
• I will no longer rationalize and make excuses for anyone's thoughts or actions.  People make choices and do things at their own free will.  There is no gray area.  It is what it is.  
• If it something that I cannot or will not accept, then I must let it go completely.  

Today, I choose to be more of the negotiator and be firmer about what I want.  I can't be afraid of scaring off someone or hurting one's feelings simply because I let my wants be known.  This is not a green light to be obnoxious, petty or rude, it is openly communicating what you want or don't want upfront so there is little confusion later. Whoever comes into my life for the long term will respect my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and beliefs and vice versa.  If he can't, then I will not compromise.  I will not allow my feelings to take a backseat for the sake of a relationship.  We must to be on the same page in order for us to move forward.  I refuse to do all the giving and never receiving or not receiving enough.  I deserve more and I have to expect more.

I love this quote above by Dr. Seuss.  How true is that?  If you can relate to this post, make a decision today to put yourself first and start to receive all that you deserve.  Happiness is a privilege.  It's up to you to fulfill it.  And with that...I'm out!  Smooches!

Happy New Year!!!!

Hey Dolls!

We made it!  We made it to see another year and all I can say is THANK YOU, BABY JESUS!!!  I'm so happy to leave 2011 behind and move forward!  It's going to be an amazing year and I pray it as equally amazing for you all!  May this year bring you joy, peace, prosperity, and love!  Make this the year you set your goals into motion and go for GREATER!  Stop talking and start DOING!  Change those shoulda, coulda, wouldas, to I WILL, I CAN,  I MUST!  Change starts with you.  Get out there and make it happen, guys!

Amazing Affirmations!

Source: Natural Notts

A Look Back: Reflection of 2011

Now that 2012 is fast approaching, it's time to reflect on the lessons learned in 2011.  I can't help but think about how much I've changed and grown.  I'm certainly not the same person I used to be.  I thank God for that.  Reflecting on this past year, what will you take away as a valuable lesson you learned?  How did it change your way of thinking?

What I can take away from this year is the fact that God has truly STRETCHED me beyond my comfort zone and my limits. I had to learn some major life lessons this year that I couldn't understand at the time, but as I reflect today, it was all for my good and preparation for what is ahead of me. "Being The Bigger Person" was my 2011 life story. It was so difficult to fathom, and I mean it was so hard, but I have been richly rewarded for being obedient. For that, I'm thankful for God's favor. I didn't give in to the devil's tricks and I stood strong through each and every storm. And there were ALOT of storms.  People will do their best to bring you down to their level of misery, jealousy, and insecurity.  It's unfortunate, but God places these certain people in your life for a reason.

Often times we may be feeling attacked from so many different angles. Someone is pushing our buttons, aggravating or frustrating you, or is simply doing their best to sabotage you.  The test comes when you stand still and let God work on your behalf.  It's difficult, it's frustrating, it will hurt, but in the end, your fence of protection will remain in tact if God remains in control.   I had to learn this more times than I care to remember this year, but my obedience has allowed me to see God's favor in my life.  Ten years ago, I was neither forgiving, nor that disciplined.  Now I see things on a larger scale than I used to.  Some things are just too trivial to entertain, but when it gets to be too much, give it all over to God and let him handle it.  I tried that approach, and I won EVERY time!  Even when I thought I didn't, I actually did!  That is a victory no one can take from you!

Thank you Lord for the lessons taught and the lessons learned. Here's to forward movement and elevation to the next level! Happy New Year, guys and dolls! :)

From Whom All Blessings Flow!!!

I just opened my eyes to yet another beautiful sunrise this morning!  Unknowing and unsuspecting of what this new day will bring, I get up to do my morning rituals, grab my phone to check my email and to my utter and most shocking surprise I receive an email from UNT (University of North Texas-Dallas) Counseling program.  In the email, it stated that based on my impressive academic credentials and my professional experience, the School of Counseling is awarding me a $2,000 academic scholarship for 2 years!!!!!

Can you say PSYCHED!!!!  I had no expectations to receive a scholarship.  I didn't even think I was being considered, but all I can say is LOOK AT GOD!!!  He knew, and He came through!  I'll be going 3/4 time (6 hours per semester), so it will pay for at least one course per semester.  Which helps tremendously!  This is what God can do!  Perfect timing to His perfect plan for my life.  I'm so happy and I can hardly contain myself!  Have a great day, loves!!!

Amazing Affirmations!

Amazing Affirmations!

Love Everything About This Photo!

Quote of the Day!

"Being single does not mean no one wants you...it just means that God is busy writing your love story" - Unknown

Quote of the Day!

"My Black is Fabulously, Exceptionally, and Amazingly Beautiful!"