Ladies, why is it that when someone asks you if you're dating other people besides them, they automatically assume you are sleeping with those other people? Why can't two people just enjoy the companionship and actually build a true friendship before taking it to a physical level? It just IRKS my nerves when a man always tends to bring the topic of discussion back to sex or the like.
I was having a conversation with someone that I was starting to get to know the other night and the convo took an unexpected, awkward turn. It went something like this:
Him: What are getting into tonight?
Me: Oh, I'm gonna stay in and make it a movie night.
Him: You want some company? (insert red flag here)
Me: No, I'm gonna chill by myself, but we can catch a movie over the holidays.
Him: What are watching?
Me: I think I'm going to watch "Friends with Benefits". I heard it's pretty funny.
Him: Oh really? Do you have friends with benefits? (insert 2nd red flag)
Me: O_o Ummm, no, I don't. I don't get down with those kinda games.
Him: Hmmm...so what do you do when get that "feeling"? (insert 3rd red flag)
Now to my utter disgust, you can imagine where the rest of this conversation went. I clearly had a few choice words with him, but he honestly didn't see the harm and asking such a personal and pointed question. For one, we've only been talking for a short time (a week or two), and two, he is already asking me sexually driven questions? Really???! Who the hell does that? See how the rest of the conversation played out:
Me: What??? Why would you ask me something like that?
Him: So you've never had a friend like that?
Me: I'm sure most of us have been one or the other, but again, why are you asking me that?
Him: I'm just wondering. Were you the one getting the benefits or the other way around?
Me: What??? Hold up! You and I are just getting to know each other and clearly, this is not something you ask a woman in the early stages of relationship. Besides, you've been harping on wanting to get to know me and I, you, but it seems you constantly digress to something physical. I'm no prude, but there is a time and place for discussing something of that nature.
Him: My bad. I'm sorry (lol). I told you that I ask a lot of questions. I just asked a question.
Me: Nothing wrong with asking questions, but it's the type of questions being asked that are the problem.
Him: I'm sure you know that I'm very attracted to you. I honestly don't want to get anything out of you like that. I really do want us to get to know each other.
Me: No you don't. You seem to always divert the conversation to something physical. That's not getting to know someone.
Him: You don't believe me now?
Me: Nope! I don't!
With that the conversation became awkward and uncomfortable. He apologized again. There was a little small talk and he told me he would call me back. He did, but I didn't answer. He text me this morning and I ignored the text.
You guys, I'm was so disgusted after that phone call. I just couldn't for the life of me understand how someone can be that bold to ask me that. He doesn't even know my last name or what my favorite ice cream flavor is, but you're more interested in my casual rendezvous with my other "suitors". Who the hell does that? What kills me is this guy is in his 40s! You would think by now he would be up on game about how to talk to respectable women, but clearly, he still has a lot of growing up to do. I guess he's used to messing with "loose" women, so it didn't seem so inappropriate to ask.
Needless to say, I've washed my hands of the situation. I'm not going to entertain someone who puts on this facade about being more mature, growing in Christ, and looking for true love with me, when in actuality you're looking for someone to arouse your loins. You say you want to do things right by me, because you didn't before, but your actions and words do not line up at all! Sorry boo boo! You can keep it moving and kick rocks while you do it!